The Actual Role-play

-looks at his Twizzler packet-
I feel violated right now.
-eats Twizzler-

Matthew.
Just kidding, you're probably going to say Dada or whatever.
--

Yeah, well, we're out of Red Vines right now so. . .
*takes another*
*nom*

*frowns*
Mamu.
*does not like long names*

Red Vines.
What the hell can't they do?
-nom-

--
Mamu?
Okay. We'll take this slow.
What about Matt?
Or Mattie even.

*laughs*
*toast with twizzlers*

*focusing*
Mad.
Madbe.
Maddie.
* *

-overhears Sarah-
HAHA, MADDIE.
Matt, you're Mattison now.

-rolls eyes at Paul-
-looks at Sarah-
YAY!
That's close enough.

*laughs*
Maddie waddie.
*bites her twizzler*
*looks at Paul*
Pauly wauly.

*hears her mother*
Pawa wawa.
* *
*oh the joys of learning*

Pawa.
--
Oh Rachel would love that one.

-mutters quietly-
And Jacob.
Because it's guy love.
Between two guuuuuuuuuuys.
-grins like nothing happened-

*hears Mattie*
That's why you're my favorite.
*ruffles his hair*

*giggles*
Jabob.
*yes, Jacob*
*she's little!*

--
I know.
I can't do Guy Love with Uncle Drew though because that would be like incest.
--

- at Matt-
- at Sarah-
Jabob.
THAT'S WHAT I'M CALLING HIM FROM NOW ON.

*nods*
No one likes incest.
*laughs*

*smiles*
*looks at Paul*
Paw.
Paw!
*reaching for him*

--
Paw?
-tempted to phase and high five her, wolf style-

Unofficial incest.
--
-smiles-
-looks at Sarah-
I wonder if she'll imprint.

*shrugs*
Jake hopes she won't. I think she will.
Who knows?
*looks at Paul*
Don't even think about it.

*clapping*
Paw!
Pawpaw!
* *

-raises hands in defense-
I didn't do anything.
-smiles-

MAW MAW MAW MAW.
Can't read my, can't read my, no you can't read my...
Poker faaaaaaaaace.
-goes the Gaga hand movements-

Sure, sure, Paul.
*looks back at Sarah*
Smart little girl.
You wanna say Mommy for me?

*giggling*
*looks at Leah*
Momma.
Momma!
* *

-grins-
Sarah's adorable.
-noms on Twizzler-
So, what are you going to do for the Eve of Hallow?

-watches like the adorable child he is-
I want to be Shang from Mulan.
--

[DIVA IS A FEMALE VERSION OF A HUSTLERRRRR~]

[ ]

*cooking paninis*
*humming*
*Rachel Ray mode*

*sitting in her little bouncer seat by Leah*
*watching her*
* *

-walks in-
WOAH LEAH'S COOKING.
This is like that episode of the Rachel Ray show when that Alex dude who looks like me was on it.

-strolls in-
WOAH FOOD.

*laughs*
Yes, I cook!
Did you forget?
Food will be ready for you shortly, Paul - sit, stay, good boy.
* *
Let's see Rachel Ray do that!

*sees them*
*reaches for Mattie*
MAMU. MAMU MAMU.

-canine side cannot disobey the orders-
-sits down slowly-
-watches the food eagerly-

SAREBEAR!
-picks up Sarah-
I missed you!

*chuckling at Paul*
*talking like she's speaking to a dog*
Who's a good boy? Paul is.
*tosses him a piece of toasted bread*
Here you go! A li'l snack for the puppy.

*hugs Mattie*
*babbling happily*
*points to Leah cooking*
Momma. Yum. Momma yum!
* *

-catches the bread-
I'm not a puppy.
Mattie is the puppy here.
--

-smiles-
Yup, Leah's making food.
Yummy food.
-hugs Sarah-
So, what has one of my favourite girls been doing?
I sound like a pimp.

*shakes her head*
You will always be a pup to me.
Mattie is young now, yes. But you, sir, are young at heart. Forever a pup.
* *

*smiling big*
*babbling like he knows what she's saying*
*she slept a lot, ate a bit, watched her mom do 'cool things' mostly*

*looks at Mattie and Sarah*
You are a pimp, kid.
* *
*turns around with plate*
FOOD IS READY!

That doesn't mean that Mattie won't be a pup at heart when he's older.
--
AND FOOD.
-grabs food-
-omnomnomnom-

Ooh, sounds like fun.
--
-reaches out to grab food but instead gets grabbed by Grandma Meraz who appeared out of nowhere-
OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

This is true . . .
*laughs*
*takes Sarah from Mattie when Grandma Meraz appears*
We'll save you a panini, Mattie.
* *

* *
MAMU?
MAMUUUUUUUU!
* *